But I'm Not Capable To Give Marriage Advice For My Friend!
- 16 October 2015
Do you think so? I did!
So I avoided giving advice to others marriage. But, is it good? No. I believe we should help each other, even if we still have a little. A little years of marriage, a little money, a little time, I believe we can do so much as long as we help each other.
A little experience of your marriage can be a big gift to others. I know, sometimes you afraid that your friend will ignore your advice because your marriage is still young. But did you ever notice that your friend need your words to save her marriage?
Ok, now you are ready to help, but how? Here I write a few guides so you can help your friend's marriage without being neglected:
1. Advice is not order. You only can offering, not ordering. Choose your words and voice tone so your advice is remain advice, not become order. People don’t like to be ordered.
2. Give advice only if you asked. The way your friend ask are varied, it can be through the words, or through gestures. You have to understand the way they communicate. If they don’t ask, it because they only need a shoulder to cry on, not advice.
3. Understand your own problem! If you are still struggle with your own marriage problem, you can’t advice anyone. Understanding your own marriage problem doesn’t mean you can fix all your problem with happy ending, it means you know what is your problem, you make peace with yourself, you forgive your spouse, you erase your anger. As long as you don’t have those feelings, you can’t deliver any advice.
4. Only give advice that match with your marriage life. For example, if you fail to stopping your husband from his unhealthy habit, you can’t be a good role model for such problem. But you can share your experiences with your friend, that will be good for her, she can avoid your failure.
Sometimes, when I gave advice to my friend’s marriage, amazingly I got the solution for my own marriage problem! It felt so great! By this interaction, I believe that God created us to help each other. So, don’t hesitate to help your friend even if you have just a little.